As parents we want the best and easiest lives for our kids. We want them to have all the things we didn’t have when we were young, or we want them to have the same advantages that we enjoyed when we were growing up. We either parent them the way we were parented because it worked and we turned out OK. Or we do the exact opposite job of our own parents, because we so didn’t like the way we were raised. That’s the truth isn’t it?!
Only the Best for Our Kids
And from that perspective, we give our children all our best stuff. We love them with every part of our being – to the moon and back. We teach them right from wrong. To the best of our ability, we provide them with the basic necessities of life – food, water, shelter, and clothes. We send them to school and educate them at home filling them with knowledge so they will have a solid foundation to build their future lives and careers. We encourage their creativity. We comfort them when they are sad or sick. Our hearts jump for joy when we see our children happy and enjoying their lives. And we do our utmost to protect them from dangers.
What Do You Do When They Make A Poor Choice?
But, Parents, What if your child makes a poor choice as a preteen, teen, young adult or even as an adult that has a bad result and changes the course of their lives for the worst? Would you be able to apply the practice of
No Judgment. Just Love.™
to yourself and to them?
Even though your reactions of anger, hurt, rage, sadness, and regret would be absolutely normal and understandable, this is the time they need your unconditional love the most. I have been in this position and I can tell you it is not an easy road. What helped me is to know that whatever decisions they made are in the past and cannot be changed from spending time in angry judgments of their poor choice. I also know that turning that anger inward on me and beating myself up for “not seeing the signs” won’t change the situation we are in.
Practice No Judgment. Just Love.™
The practice of No Judgment. Just Love.™ is a personal thought process that I encourage you to take. For me, it took forgiveness of myself and my child. It included me confirming that no matter how difficult, if I always express confidence that things can be improved, and focus on exploring solutions, we would find a way to get through anything!
I would love to hear your thoughts on how you, as a parent, would overcome the disappointment and fear for the future, if your child made a poor choice that had a bad result.
With much respect and compassion,